


It’s Cold Outside

by LManorSecret



Category: Red Dwarf (UK TV)
Genre: F/M, Luck Virus, Sexual Magnetism virus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27900706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LManorSecret/pseuds/LManorSecret
Summary: Kochanski is reflecting about recent events in her life when Rimmer comes knocking at her door.
Relationships: Kristine Kochanski/Arnold Rimmer
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	It’s Cold Outside

The Jupiter Mining ship Red Dwarf was lost in space. Things to know about space when considering going out into it. It is cold outside. There’s no kind of atmosphere and you will find yourself alone more or less.

Kristine Kochanski sat on her bunk looking out into space and thinking about the recent events in her life. First there was the moment where Arnold Rimmer got hold of the Sexual Magnetism virus. How she threw herself at him, though the Luck virus counted kicked in and candled out the Sexual Magnetism virus before anything could happen. Then there was the time she met Cassandra and she predicted a future where Rimmer would get to sleep with Kochanski. It felt like the universe was trying to send her a message. One she didn’t want to here. Yet here she was thinking about it. To top it all off Rimmer managed to save Red Dwarf when most of the crew abandoned ship. 

Knock… Knock

Kochanski opened her door to find Rimmer standing on the other side of it, like fate called him here. He Raised his hand and twirled it a bunch of time to give his silly little salute.

“What can I do for you Rimmer?” 

“As the highest-ranking officer on Red Dwarf I thought you would like to know that we have detected a shuttle and Lister is running scans now which should be finished in a couple of hours”  
“Thank you Rimmer… Would you like to come in for a moment?”

Kochanski wasn’t sure why she had asked that. Rimmer’s new nervous stance suggested he had an idea. Maybe the wrong one maybe the right one. It was hard to say currently. He slowly made his way into Kochanski’s quarters. They were just like everyone else’s living quarters, grey with bunk beds. 

“I have been thinking about things lately Rimmer. The Positive Viruses and Cassandra”

“I don’t think I am following”

“I feel like the universe wants something from me that I am not willing to give”

“My advice is to tell the universe to smeg off”

“I think it wants me to be with you”

“But the universe is so old and wise that it might be best to just listen to it”

“Then you saved the ship. I was just going to put that in your record and leave it at that, but now I wonder if I should offer you a more fitting reward”

“Like w-what?”

“I don’t know. What would you like?”

There was a moment of silence.

“I want to be Captain of Red Dwarf” Rimmer finally said.

Kochanski was surprised. She was sure he was going to ask to sleep with her and yet instead he wanted a rank, a promotion. Kochanski went over to her computer and changed Rimmer’s rank to Captain of the Red Dwarf. Rimmer was the complete opposite to Lister the last man she dated. Lister was not interested in climbing the ladder of promotion, he just wanted to get drunk whilst eating a curry. She found herself respected Rimmer a little more for his decision. 

“Congratulations Captain Rimmer”

“Uhh thank you”

Rimmer was now captain of a ship lightyears from Earth, well and truly lost in space. Kochanski was stuck on this ship as well with the only other crew was the ship’s computer Holly, the humanoid cat, the robot, and her ex-boyfriend Lister, though this wasn’t her Lister as she is actually from a different reality where her Lister was less of a slob. Kochanski looked at her new captain, a skinny man with a neat haircut, with most of her other choices of a mate leaving when the ship was abandoned, she started to see she could do worse. Then she thought about all the people who did abandon ship, they all left her to die, but Rimmer didn’t, he saved the day. He saved her life. Maybe the universe was trying to open her eyes. Trying to show her that deep down, she loved him.

“Actually, let me congratulate properly Captain”

“Whatever do you mean?”

Kochanski walked over and planted her lips onto his. Her tongue slipped into his mouth. In this moment everything just felt right. Eventually she had to pull away for air.  
“You know, this new promotion comes with new living quarters. One which has a bed big enough for two”

“What are you asking Captain?”

“Sex. I was asking about sex”

“And here I thought you were proposing”

“Urrr I never thought you be interested. I never thought you would kiss me to be honest. Why would you marry me?”

“I never thought I would either. But like you said the universe is old and wise, I need to stop fighting it and accept that I actually want to say yes” 

“To our new quarters then?”

“There is a bed here if you want to make our union official”

No more words were needed. Rimmer lifted Kochanski into the air and carried her to bed, kissing her the whole time. The two of them where like wild animals ripping the clothes off of each other. Rimmer started to suck on Kochanski’s breast, then he slowly worked his way down kissing her whole body nice and slowly, until his head was between her legs. Kochanski let out a moan of joy. The moaning kept going as his tongue worked their magic down there. Rimmer climbed his way back up. Now with his cock, hard as a rock, he aimed it and inserted it. The thrust of his hips started slow and gently but Kochanski begged for more. Soon he got faster and rougher. Kochanski was overcome with pleasure. She cried out Rimmer’s name and then it happened. She felt it happen, Rimmer shot his load into her.  
The two of them laid in bed together naked, holding one another. Kochanski kissed Rimmer’s neck. 

“Just wait until I tell Listy about all this” Rimmer smiled.

Rimmer was always jealous of Lister. In the past Lister had the friends, the respect even though he had a lower rank, and he got the girls. Now Rimmer had it all. Kochanski knew that it was petty to rub Lister’s nose in it, but she felt kind of flattered in a sort of odd way.

“Before you do maybe we could go for another round?”

“Of course. Arnold Jr won’t create himself”

“No, he won’t”

Rimmer kissed Kochanski as the two of them got ready for the next round and the rest of their lives.


End file.
